A Mom’s Ode to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Sam
4 min readMar 21, 2023

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One of, if not the best book out there for those moms who just can’t help themselves but to give a f*ck.

I have given many of my f*cks out over the years, mostly to people and things that in hindsight definitely were not worthy of them, which eventually lead me to this great and insightful novel. This book has probably saved me thousands of dollars in therapy bills, simply by putting a very complex idea into a very straight forward perspective. This book has helped me identify what is worthy of a f*ck, and what is not. And, ultimately, how to live a happier life by not allowing myself to get caught up in the bullshit.

The overall tone of this incredible book provides so much insight on something so tragically relatable, and the overall message is sprinkled with so much comical relief throughout that it quickly became one of my favs. It provides valuable insight on how not to let the littlest things in life get to you. This book allowed me to take a step back and reassess shit-uations in my life that would normally otherwise cause me grief, and rather to make a conscious decision on whether or not to waste my energy. The book and the meaning behind it has stuck with me over the years wherever I have gone, and it always provides a gentle reminder that when things get a little sticky in life, I just need to ask myself if it is really truly f*ck-worthy. And usually the answer is no. I believe the moral behind the whole story is that you only get so many of these so called f*cks to give over the course of a lifetime, so mind your f*cks carefully. We now know how stress has been proven to take years off our lives, when we’re constantly in a state of stress, anger and tension, life begins to feel too heavy. It’s good to have a little ditty in your back pocket like this so you are not constantly losing your shit on everyone, especially your kids who know exactly which buttons to push and when.

The last year of my life I have been dealing with postpartum which has ignited a fiery rage inside of me, making me angry with just about every person, place and/or thing around me at some point in time. I wish so much that I had referenced this book more during that period of my life. Now that I am slowly adapting to motherhood I am reminded of this book often when things don’t quite go my way. I am once again leaning on the backbone of the message behind this novel. Motherhood is filled with soooooo many f*cks to give, like so many, every single day all day long there is a new f*ck to be given when you are a mom, whether it is related to your child, your partner, or just the way life changes afterwards. Motherhood is arguably the hardest job in the world and there is little to no recognition for your efforts at the end of everyday, giving you valid reasons to lose your f*cking marbles. To my fellow moms currently losing your marbles, I recommend to you this book — The Subtle Art of Not Giving a FUUUUUUCK! Say it with me it feels good! This book is a sweet reminder to not sweat the small stuff, or small people. There is always going to be some little jerk busting your balls or some other parent, likely your MIL giving you unsolicited advice making you feel enraged, or some stupid post on social media that is intentionally there just to make you feel like shit for no good reason. Or some other random thing that triggers your mom-guilt. Never ends, does it moms. This book is a great way to provide a little comical relief to your day-to-day, and I promise it will give you the permission you need to not give a f*ck when a f*ck is not to be given. Did your toddler just remove their own diaper leaving poop stains everywhere? Annoying af, yes, f*ck worthy? Maybe not. Did your partner just ask you for the 1,500th time where their wallet is? Annoying af, yes clearly!! But, f*ck worthy? Probably not. F*ck it! Who cares! Once you become a mom you realize quick that you really gotta save up your f*cks for the big stuff.

Thinking back to my 20’s and even before that I used to care so much about what people thought of me (before this book was introduced to me obviously). I can remember spending a gross amount of time dwelling on things that really did not matter in the grand scheme of my life. I can’t remember exactly who recommended this genius book to me but I owe them a lot, because having this as a reference as I get a little older and life gets a little harder has been a game changer for me. Not dwelling on trivial things or taking things personally that ultimately have nothing to do with me, has been a game changer. Understanding that most people do not actually care all that much about my feelings towards them, thus saving me from wasting my f*cks on them, that has been a game changer. As the book states — you only get so many f*cks, allocate them wisely, or something along those f*cking lines.

To the Author of this book – thank you. Thank you for providing me with a hilarious yet insanely useful life hack that not one therapist could have prescribed to me without losing their license. You’ve changed my life and the way I look at things, and people, and have helped me live a happier and more carefree life.

10/10!

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Sam
Sam

Written by Sam

Self expression through writing.

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